The past week has been a rollercoaster.
I started off on Monday explaining to my Dad that I would be having the surgery. I called him and the conversation started with tears. I couldn’t even get the words out. The most difficult thing for me was to explain to my Dad, who has always been my number one supporter, that I am not perfect, and I need help to change. It’s the first time I’ve ever explained all of my health fears to him. Despite my size my Dad has always treated me as though I am perfect. But just in his usual way, he supported me. He’s flying down to Vancouver to come with me to surgery and he’ll be staying with me while I recoup.
To top it all off he offered to pay. He moved around his investments and was able to come up with the money for it without me even asking, or even insinuating that I needed financial help.
This is why my Dad is the best.
I also decided that I wasn’t going to be secretive about any of this. I told each and every person who is important to me and was met with unanimous support. From co-worker to childhood friends, everyone has been amazing. Even if there were unsupportive people in my life, I wouldn’t care because I am so sure that this is the right decision. Naysayers have no effect on me right now.
I had a day off today so I took it to do research. Looked into protein powders that will be necessary post op. I got some amazing suggestions from my friend Nhi, I often task her with looking random crap up for me, I think she gets off on filling her head with random facts. I also managed to get my passport renewed and also picked up a blender bottle for the aforementioned protein powders.
I guess I’m the same way about liking to research things. I need to know everything going into this surgery. I need to know the risks, I need to know the chances of failure. I need to go into it without rose-tinted glasses, thinking that this is a cure-all and that every ailment I have will suddenly disappear when the doctor makes that incision. I know that it won’t be easy and that it won’t happen over night. But if I go into this with realistic expectations I’ll succeed.
Nothing worth having is ever easy, and I want to have my health back.