Stalling Out, GOD DAMN.

I’ve been here in the bumfuck nowhere town of Fort St. John for 3 weeks now. In these three weeks I have lost weight, made new friends, eaten horribly, stalled out, and gotten back on track. Continue reading

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The Ties That Bind

My family dynamics are complicated. I’m sure everyone feels this way in some capacity, but I feel it to the extreme.

I haven’t spoken to my mother in nearly 3 years. Today she called me to tell me that my uncle who I have very little contact with is dying of lung cancer. It was the strangest conversation of my life, when it ended I felt a strange sense of emptiness. Not emptiness in the sense of loss, but emptiness in the sense of being totally devoid of emotion. My mother and I have never been particularly close. I acknowledge that I probably wasn’t an easy child to raise. I was very closed up, unable to express my emotions. But my mother is ill-suited to be a parent. She can be maternal, but there are issues mentally that I feel make her unable to make the selfless sacrifices needed to raise a child, especially a daughter. Continue reading

The Biggest Loser, Hotel Edition.

As I’ve mentioned, for the next two months I’m traveling for work and living out of a suitcase in Fort St. John. Initially I was discouraged during my first trip here right before Christmas, but after some time off and making some real headway at work I’m super pumped about being here. I’ve decided to take these two months and use them to my full advantage, making my primary focus (aside from work) exercise and fitness. Continue reading