As I’ve started to become more self-aware (and less clueless) I’ve discovered that men are attracted to me visually. Not that I’ve never had a guy be interested in me, but usually it’s because of my fantastic personality, or my seemingly obsessive knowledge of trivia. But nowadays I catch men staring, I get complimented more regularly. But sweet goddamn, some of the compliments are so awful I don’t know where to begin. I have to question myself, am I overly sensitive to the way certain words sound or are the men who find me attractive complete asshats? Lets discuss shall we?The first word that fills me with rage is exotic. How is this a word to describe a woman? I’m not a pineapple or a rare bird from the Amazon. I feel like the word exotic is the socially appropriate way for men to say “you’re ethnic and I like it”. That’s like telling a white girl “baby you’re so oatmeal, you’re just so plain and I love it”. As soon as a man mentions that word the conversation quickly segues into “so tell me about your background”. Dude, I’m Canadian, just like you. I like when people are interested in my culture and what my family’s background is, but I don’t like the fact that so many guys will seek out a female simply because she’s of a different ethnicity or “exotic”. I’d much rather have someone interested in me because of my character and my boundless wit and intelligence (hahahaha). My name is not Ferrari. I am not exotic.

Adorable. Ugh. Where to begin? There is a certain someone in my life who loves to refer to me as adorable. Makes me want to rip my hair out. Adorable and cute are in the same sphere of vomit. Makes me feel like a bunny rabbit, like I’m soft and fluffy. I’m hard goddamn it I’m HARD! Gangsta if you will. I was watching a rerun of 1G5G recently and they were discussing the word cute, and one of the guys said “cute makes me sound fat”. Agreed. When I hear cute I think of round rosy cheeks, being soft and pleasantly plump.

Words I like to hear?

• Sassy
• Fierce
• Hilarious
• Beautiful

Men. If you want to get into a woman’s pants forego all of the words you think are complimentary and bring out the big guns. The other day I was at my local Starbucks-esque establishment and my regular barista said to me “Girl, I just wanted to let you know that you look beautiful. Whatever you’ve been doing is working”.

My barista is gayer than Liberace, but in that moment he could have owned me. There is something so intoxicating about being told you’re beautiful, whether it’s genuine or not. So if you want to compliment a woman, and you want her to feel the warm and fuzzies remember, beautiful. It’s the golden word.