I’ve been in the hell that is Fort St. John for 41 one days without so much as a half day off every two weeks or so. I’m mentally exhausted, I’m physically exhausted and it shows. In 10 days I’m headed back home to Vancouver for a four-day weekend. I’ve never been so excited for anything in my entire life. I think for a really long time I didn’t embrace Vancouver as my home. I longed for Winnipeg and everything that came along with it. When I left Winnipeg for Vancouver it was very half hearted. I left to continue an education I wasn’t happy with, but more than anything I left to escape a life that I didn’t want. I had made too many bad decisions and I could see my future there very clearly, and it was definitely not something I wanted. I’ve had a hard time making the Lower Mainland feel like home. I don’t think it really has up until this stint up here. As I sit, Starbucks cup in hand (from the only Starbucks in town which is located in the most ghetto Safeway), I think about how much better the Starbucks around the corner from my condo is, how I enjoy seeing my barista, Kevin, on a daily basis. I miss the grey skies and lack of snow. I hate being in a town where I constantly look overdressed in public. For fucks sake the women here haven’t even heard the word “Sephora” before. Where the thought of waxing your eyebrows is frowned upon, and the “Rachel” haircut is still a thing.

It’s gross.

The other thing that has been super evident out here is that this is the kind of place where the macho, redneck, no game, dirt bag kind of man is still alive and well. Winnipeg men are almost too simple, Vancouver men are too complicated, Fort St. John men are over paid, under educated and lacking any sort of social skills. The way men attempt to talk to me here is so beyond offensive it’s not even funny. From “I really like your tits” to “Want to interview me in your room later?” to “I could take you shopping”. None of these are lines that work, at least not on a woman with any sort of sense or self-worth.

I’ll be glad to get home and spend my first night home spoiled and pampered, staying in a hotel that is not the unfortunate “Quality” Inn Northern Grand,  and having intelligent conversation with someone who stimulates me in every way possible.

And I miss my cat. And I’m pretty sure he misses being spoiled.

The look of abandonment.