Resolving to be Resolute

Christmas came and went. New Year’s Eve is fast approaching. I flew home to Winnipeg for Christmas, and I knew I would want to indulge in all of the fine Filipino cuisine my Dad would be cooking up, and wanting to gorge myself on my Auntie Jocie’s shortbread cookies. So I told myself in advance that I wasn’t going to use myfitnesspal and I was going to give myself free reign over the holidays. The week before, when I was up in Fort St. John was a big loss week, I lost 6 lbs without even working out very hard.

I came home a few days ago, and after 5 days of eating garbage, going out for drinks and generally misbehaving I haven’t lost a pound (I haven’t gained either). This is one of the first weeks that I’ve completely stalled out, and I felt like garbage as well. After being home for a few days and eating clean and high protein I already feel sooooooo much better.

It’s that time of year when everyone spews out their bullshit resolutions that are so specific and unattainable. I typically don’t put much thought into them because I’d spent so many years saying “this year I’m going to get healthy” and then never following through. This year I didn’t make a resolution, but I made the biggest change in my life, I decided to own my obesity and change the path that I was on.I have lost 117 pounds in 7 months. I have 37 left to go before I’m at my goal. I have 5 months to do it. Not because I “have” to I suppose, but because I know I can and I know that if I don’t challenge myself I won’t make it happen. I need to learn how to not give in, how to not become complacent. I look back on the direction my health was headed and I never want to be on that path again.

People have this misconception that having surgery is the easy way out. It’s not. The easy way out would have been staying overweight and inactive and unhappy. It’s not a magic cure, you have to curtail all of your bad eating habits, you have to work out, you have to deal with the rapid weight loss and all of the negative things that come along with it, like loose skin, dizzy spells, low blood pressure, low blood sugar, mood swings… none of it is “easy”. But all of it is worth it.

So my resolution is to keep going. I know the last few pounds are going to be the most difficult, I’ve been plateauing more and more. But I refuse to give in, all of the sweat and tears are worth it because I feel like a different person. I can run up the stairs to my condo and not feel winded. It sounds like a small victory but for me it’s massive. I don’t have to take any medication anymore. All of these things make up the reason why I’m not willing to stop.

I’ll be living out of a hotel for two months while I’m back up in Fort St. John for work. I’ve ordered enough protein powder to sustain myself while I’m up there, I’ve got my gym clothes packed, and I’ve scoped out the times that the tiny gym at the hotel is least crowded. I’ve got a plan, I have a timeline, and I have a goal. My goal is attainable and I’m going to make it there in 2014.

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